Emotional Spring Cleaning

"Pieces of personal history honestly written can work therapeutic miracles."

- C. Terry Warner, Bonds that Make Us Free 

A couple of months ago, I came across this quote in a book I was reading, and it has been running through my mind ever since then. I honestly believe in this principle, this idea, that our personal and honestly written experience can bring aid in a time of need. Not only do I believe in this principle, but I strive to live by it. 

If I told you the number of journals that I own, I'm sure you wouldn't believe me. [it's somewhere around 50, but who's counting?] I have loads of notebooks filled with spiritual promptings from church, ideas from classes at school, and conversations I've had with friends. I have journals filled with the day to day things, journals filled with stuff about my marriage and relationships, journals filled with hopes & dreams, and journals dedicated to gratitude. 

Picture proof of a few of my many journals

I have come to learn slowly over the years that God speaks to me through journaling and writing. Often, I will be recording the day's events, or my thoughts & feelings, and I will find myself answering my own questions that had been weighing on my soul that day. 

God speaks to me through writing. 

As I look back on my recorded experiences, a few really neat things happen:

1. I am able to clearly see truth & error 

[[ I can't be the only one who reads through their journal and cringes at the times you declared love for the guy who you ended up dating for only 3 weeks, right?]]

2. I find guidance

3. I find comfort

These are things that I feel are pretty universal necessities, and are helpful for anyone who is figuring out their path in life, and who they hope to become. 

In this same book I mentioned earlier, the author, C. Terry Warner, described something that he called the "Gas Law". This is the idea that any inner space, no matter how big, will be filled with something--agitation, anger, resentment, hurt, pain, joy, gladness, or gratitude--no matter how small those feelings may be. 

These inner feelings affect everything.

Unfortunately, we often blame these feelings, and the outcomes of them on others, and that can go to ruin (or bless) an entire experience or day. We hold the potential to carry these feelings around with us for years, and not realize it.

I had a professor portray this principle, as it relates to parenting, through an analogy relating to an attic:

His father passed away when he was 4 years old, so for the majority of his life, he was raised by his strong, single mother. He shared with us a story from his life about how his mom always treated him like he was most important in her life. This is something that he stored away into his personal "attic". 

My professor then invited us to think about our attics in relation to how we were raised, because the things we store in our attics are bound to influence our personal parenting, professional, and relational practices. 

Warner's idea of the "Gas Law" made me ponder what may be lurking in my attic, and to try and uncover or dust off those things that I've attempted to store away, but that are still affecting me in my daily experiences. 

As I sifted through things in my attic of memories, emotions, & experiences, I was able to to a little bit of "spring cleaning".  I was able to sort out those things that have had positive influences on me, and set them aside for keeping. I also have made a pile of things that I hope to throw out--although this process is going to take a while. 

I was honestly shocked to find how many negative experiences I have been holding on to! A lot of them have been circumstances that are out of my personal control, that happened because of the choices others around me made. These experiences tend to send my anxiety through the roof [get my attic pun? heh] and then they fester in me until I develop and hold onto the negative feelings. However, I have come to realize that within each of these experiences lies something that is within my control--the condition of my heart, or the cleanliness of my attic. 

C. Terry Warner said:

"Learning the truth about a problematic condition in our physical bodies enables us to take steps to find the remedy. As they say, the diagnosis is half the cure. But with emotions and relationships, the truth is the cure. 

. . . override your discouragement and press on. Your self-doubts, if you have them, aren't about you at all, but about a misconception of yourself, a false self-image, that you can be rid of--provided you give way to the truth and not your fear of it."

To you, the reader, I want to invite you to take time this week for some honest self-reflection. 

If you have written down pieces of personal history, then take a look at them, and let them guide you to places in your attic that need some "spring cleaning". 

If you don't already have a record of your personal feelings and history, then today's a great day to start one!

I don't want people to just trust my advice, and trust my experiences, but I want you to have experiences of your own. 

I would love to hear back from those who try this out! Share your thoughts and concerns with me, I'm all ears.